Unwanted Advice

Heloise passes on some “tips” from a salesperson.  I have tips of my own.

Dear Heloise: Regarding your question about salespeople, as a salesperson, I have some suggestions:

• When I greet you, please have the courtesy to acknowledge me.
• Keep food and drinks out of the store. Merchandise, carpeting, etc., can get ruined.
• Escalators are machinery, not a toy. People stand by as kids go up and down. Kids can get hurt!
• Carry your charge card with you. We waste a lot of time looking up accounts.
• Carry ID in case you are asked for it. I don’t know who you are.
• When buying gifts, know the person’s size. Don’t come in and try to guess.
• All tags should be left on merchandise until you are sure you are keeping the item.
• Please don’t use your cellphone when with a salesperson. Rude, rude, rude.
• If someone helps you, make sure to give that person credit for the sale.
• Don’t give me a $50 or $100 bill for a small purchase.

Thank you for letting me vent. I feel better. — A Frustrated Salesperson in Ohio

Agreed, as long as you do the following

• If you don’t want our phone calls interrupting you, return the fucking favor and don’t answer yours.  We took the time to come in.
• Asking if we need help once is courteous. Asking five times is harassment.
• Admit you just sold me a piece of junk, and I’ll consider your extended warranty
• Learn how to use your register.  It shouldn’t take three of you to void out the item you accidentally entered in twice.
• If you lock items in a cabinet, do not play hide and seek when we need something from there… stay nearby.
• Make sure you de-activate all alarm tags on things we buy.  Being stared at with suspicion isn’t fun when the alarm goes off as we leave.
• If a shopping cart has less than 4 functioning wheels, get rid of it.
• If your credit card terminal is down, put a sign on the front door, not at the register after I spent 40 minutes gathering things I apparently cannot buy.
• Small, Medium, and Large are sizes. Venti, Tall, and Grande are not.

Thank you for letting me respond.  Your Frustrated Customer