Unwanted Advice

Practically none of my posts are safe for work, so you know this is especially graphic when I put the NSFW tag on there.  From Savage Love:

I’m wondering whether you have any thoughts on the male tendency when sharing “naughty” photos to go straight for a close-up shot of the penis. Representative Anthony Weiner’s tweeting disaster has brought to mind a number of recent cases where high-profile men—such as Kanye West and Brett Favre—sent other women similar shots in an apparent attempt to seduce them. However, the response I’ve heard from women to such offerings can be summed up as “Ew, yuck!”

Do you have any insight on why some men think this sort of overture would work?
Totally Confused Female

Dan says:

… The cock-shot overture doesn’t work on most women, I’ll grant you, but the sort of guys who send cock shots aren’t interested in most women. They’re interested in the sort of women whom this sort of overture works on. And the sort of men who think only with their photogenic dicks—and not all men are that sort—figure the quickest way to determine if a woman is that sort of woman is to send the cock shot.

Guys are fascinated by penises.  In fact, I’d be willing to bet that more men checked out Weiner’s weiner than women.  It’s their favorite toy, and every guy thinks that their dick is a gift from god, and cannot help sharing it with the world.

That is not advice, though. That is common sense.  The real advice missing is not why guys take pictures of their junk, but HOW.  Chances are if you are a guy who wants to send willing (and un-willing) members of the opposite or same sex pictures of your junk, at least do it right.

The LAST thing you want to do is grab your camera, look down, and snap away. To explain why, I need to introduce to you the concept of foreshortening and is the main reason why you think your dick is shorter than it actually is.

I've provided the hand, you imagine the penis

Foreshortening, what any decent art school student can tell you, is quite literally a matter of perspective.  Foreshorenting means the size of an object’s dimensions along the line of sight are relatively shorter than dimensions across the line of sight. It also means that the object appears smaller as the distance from the object increases. What the hell does that mean?

It means that if it’s your dick, you’ve got the worst view possible.  You only see it from the top down from about 2 feet away.  The effect is worse if your erection is curved or angled upward. From your perspective, all the length is lost because of the angle. When you see it with your own eyes in 3D, your brain can mostly account for the effect, but a photograph is two dimensional.

This is why incidentally, most men when they see other dicks in the locker room or wherever (no judgement here) feel they don’t measure up.  There’s no such foreshortening effect, so very often it’ll look as though the other guy is slightly better endowed.  It’s not your dick size that is at issue, it’s your eyes.  Look at your own junk in the mirror, and notice how much bigger it looks.

So, what is the best angle?  Well, I can’t tell you, but I can show you.  Just kidding.  First, put the camera down and learn to use the timer. Taking a picture from the side or underneath will maximize the length.  To enhance the girth, slightly point the head toward the camera.  Find the angle that works best for your shape and size. He may have shown poor judgement all around, but I’ve seen the Congressman’s dick shot.  He at least got that right – the picture follows all the rules. It’s obvious he’d done that before.   Those you send it to may not be any more receptive, but at least they’ll be saying “My GOD” rather than “EEW”